Happy Birthday to me. Daph got me the 1913 first edition of the giant Funk & Wagnall's New Standard Dictionary, edited by Frank Vizetelly, printed on 3000 pages of limp, heavy bible paper. 450,000 headwords, numerous engravings, occasional childish scrawls, numerous pressed plants...

"Alfred E. Smith's ''baloney dollar'' could not swerve Dr. Vizetelly from ''bologna.'' But he was quick to favor President Roosvelt's ''chiseler'', which he said actually had attained dictionary rating in England in 1808. He found ''whoopee'' went back to A.D. 450, discovered grammatical imperfections in Noah Webster and dismissed 1935's ''Oakie-doke'' as a moron's ''Yes.''